“That’s a babe,” Assistant Principal and Athletic Director Michael Richards thought when he saw his future wife, Julie Bitter, walk into school his sophomore year of high school. 

“I was crutching down the first-floor hallway (due to a recent football injury) and she walked in the school, and it was a sunny morning, so there was this beaming light, this aura, around her curly hair,” Richards said. 

After learning her name, Richards said he was determined to get her number by asking Bitter’s tennis teammate in his biology class. Since he could not play football, he said he was able to text her often, bringing them even closer. 

“I didn’t get to play that entire season, so I was just texting her all the time. I was able to talk to her and get the foot in the door before everyone else did,” Richards said. 

Like Richards and his wife, seniors Gabi McFall and Keaton Humphrey connected early in high school. They, however, bonded through their love of sports. Humphrey said he enjoys how they go out and support each other at games, which has brought them closer together. 

“In a relationship, you have to dig into people’s feelings,” Humphrey said. “After a rough game or a rough week, you have to understand what they’re going through.” 

In addition to relieving each other from the pressure of sports, McFall said her relationship with Humphrey ended her search for school dance dates. Their relationship blossomed after their freshman year Sweetheart Dance, and they have now been dating for two and a half years. 

“We weren’t dating at the time, and then he figured out he had feelings for me,” McFall said. “After [the dance], I asked him to hang out one day, and ever since then, we have dated.” 

Unlike her friends, McFall said she does not have to fixate on finding a date because she has a boyfriend and appreciates not feeling constant pressure during the dance season. 

“It takes a lot of stress off my shoulders because I don’t have to worry about who I’m going with,” McFall said. “He still sometimes gives me flowers and [asks], ‘Do you want to be my date?’ even though I already knew I was going to be.”

Similarly, Humphrey said having a steady partner has made the dance preparations easier. 

“I don’t have to go through the stress of asking someone and making a sign and doing all that. It makes me feel happy to have the same person,” Humphrey said. 

Other students, however, opt not to go to dances with a serious date. Junior Kayleigh Gronau said she was not initially looking for a date to the Homecoming Dance this year, but she decided to go with a friend because they shared mutual connections. 

“We spent the majority of the summer hanging out with each other, so we got really close. I don’t think it’s going to be awkward. If anything, it will just bring us closer, and it’ll be something we can laugh about,” Gronau said before the dance. 

Reflecting on the last time she took a friend to a dance, Gronau said it was the best experience for her so far because there was no pressure. 

“You didn’t have to worry about looking good, the coupley pictures or a boutonniere. You kind of just did your own thing,” Gronau said.

Conversely, some students feel pressure to secure a date. Freshman Isabella Eils said she found the process overwhelming. 

“It was super stressful. I felt like I had to have a date. People had already gotten dates over the summer before they even had a chance to meet,” Eils said. “I just wanted a date because I didn’t want to feel left out.”

According to Eils, seeing transition videos users post online with their date plays a key role in the stress of finding a date. 

“A lot of stuff that you see on TikTok, they all have dates. Everyone thought they had to have a date because they’ve never experienced high school dances before,” Eils said. 

On the first Friday of the school year, Eils said her friend set her up with a potential date. He later asked her to the dance with a sign, but their plans fell through after a disagreement. After another unsuccessful attempt to find a date, Eils said she attended the dance solo and hung out with friends instead. 

“I thought it would be kind of embarrassing at first, but I realized that a bunch of people would be by themselves too,” Eils said. “It was definitely a relief knowing that other people were doing the same thing I did.” 

Having similarly gone without a serious date, Gronau said she believes students should focus on enjoying the event with friends rather than worrying about a date. 

“In my opinion, you don’t really need a date as long as you have one or two good friends to hang out with,” Gronau said.  

Likewise, Eils said students should not feel peer pressured and force themselves to get a date to fit in. She said her first Homecoming experience brought unexpectedly positive results. 

“You got to go around, talk to people and not worry about having to stay with [your date] the whole time,” Eils said. “You definitely get to be yourself and have lots of fun.” 

Senior Luke Schelhammer said he went to Homecoming and Sweetheart his freshman year with more serious dates, but now he mainly goes as friends.

“Early on in high school, I was looking for more of a relationship, but as I progressed, I realized that it’s kind of hard for that to happen and some people don’t prefer that,” Schelhammer said. 

Psychology teacher Heidi Gipple said there are various psychological factors behind why teenagers enter short-term relationships, especially around events like Homecoming. 

“A lot of it is perspective-based, depending on what that relationship is going to fulfill for us. Is it that sociocultural part of [what we see] around us? Is this fulfilling our love and belonging needs because those aren’t being met somewhere [else]?” Gipple said. 

According to Gipple, the expectations of finding a date can potentially harm a student’s self-esteem, so she believes students should take a step back, not care about what others think and do whatever makes them happy. 

“Playing that comparison game is very strong like, ‘Oh, somebody else is doing that, that’s the way. If I don’t do that, am I going to be seen as weird?’” Gipple said. “In reality, nobody else is looking at us because they’re usually caring about themselves anyway.”

Through his experience finding dates for dances, Schelhammer said it became easier over time. However, he said going with a date is not always the only option. 

 “This year, I decided not to go [to Homecoming]. I stayed with a couple of buddies and wanted to have one last time with some of my best friends,” Schelhammer said. 

Conversely, Gronau said she had a great night with her date and it was not awkward for her, as she expected.

“It went really well and it did indeed bring us closer. His mom hand-made my corsage and bouquet and he even asked me to be his girlfriend after,” Gronau said. 

“It was the feeling that the longer your relationship lasts, the better or the healthier your relationship was,” Gipple said.  

Richards said having a high school sweetheart shaped his values of commitment and discipline, which strengthened their relationship. 

“Even though we’ve only been married for seven years, we’ve been together for 17. The impact of being together that long and us being so young at this, I feel like the strength of our relationship is huge,” Richards said. 

I had so much fun the whole night and dancing with my friends was something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Even though she does not have the years of experience Richards has, Gronau said she had a great time with both her date and her friends at the dance.  

“I had so much fun the whole night and dancing with my friends was something I don’t think I’ll ever forget,” Gronau said.

Ultimately, Gipple said the goal of school dances is to have fun and foster a place of community in Northwest. 

“People have brought dates before, people have gone with friends and people have gone solo,” Gipple said. “Surround yourself with people that make you happy, and you’ll have a great time.”