As December creeps up on us, we begin to reflect on our year. For me, every year is the same. “I can’t believe this year is almost over, it still feels like May,” my friend tells me, while everyone around us agrees instantly. This happens every single year, and something that comes along with this is New Year’s resolutions. “I feel like I haven’t done anything this year,” I hear a classmate say. “I didn’t hit any of the goals I set for myself,” another student adds.
As soon as the end of a year approaches, we feel the need to reset, and be a better person, and while self-improvement is something we should all strive for, it is often incredibly damaging mentally. We have New Year’s resolutions because we want to increase our confidence but end up with low self-esteem because we never end up sticking with our goals. The saying, “New Year, New Me,” isn’t as glamorous as it may make people feel.
First, we need to get in the habit of continuously working toward bettering ourselves, and we don’t need to wait for the start of a new year to do that. I know it might seem better to wait, because it may seem like we can start over, and fix our mistakes with a clean slate, but each day can be that. By saying, “I’ll start next year,” it’s easy to forget about our goals or just avoid actually working toward them. Do not obsess over the fact a new year is approaching, because a new day is just as important. Every day can be a new beginning if you push yourself hard enough.
By waiting till the new year, we tend to create a mental list of things we hate about ourselves. From our body to our face, to our hair, to our personality, it’s easy to compile details about ourselves that we don’t love, or just things that we deem as less than perfect. Having all of these goals in our heads can make us feel hopeful at the moment, but when we look back and reflect on our year the following December, it is easy to fall into a spiral of self-hatred. I encourage self-improvement, but I also encourage self-love. We need to remember that not everything about ourselves needs to be changed.
You do not have to try to tone down your personality because one person said you are too much. You do not have to change your hair because someone said they did not like it. You do not have to lose weight because you feel like being skinny will make you more attractive. If you are trying to change your personality, change a specific quality, do not change who you truly are at heart. If you want to change your hair, do it because you are tired of the same haircut and want to try something new. If you want to lose weight, do it because you want to feel better, not look better.
Setting goals can be done in a much healthier way, one that does not follow the ‘New Year, New Me,’ mindset. Doing things like journaling daily and keeping track of your progress towards a goal can give you more motivation to complete your goals. With this tool, you can remind yourself why you are working hard to achieve your goals and keep you on track. Another helpful tool is creating a vision board. This can aid those of us who prefer to see everything laid out and in one area. With the use of a vision board, it’s much easier to stay on track with your goals, as they are all in front of you, and it is the reality you hope for. It is an incredibly strong motivator for those who struggle with commitment to a goal. Something to also keep in mind is that we should refrain from trying to complete multiple goals simultaneously. It can increase stress levels and can result in not completing a single goal. If we try to make our goals feasible, achieving them is much simpler. Each goal you have should have stepping stones to it, and reaching each stepping stone should be an achievement.
