My parents openly let me curse, have a glass of wine with them on Sunday nights and talk about things my mom has said she would have never told her parents. One thing I’ve talked about to my parents, my mom mostly, is who is having sex with whom at my school. Her response: “How long have they been dating?!” My usual response honestly makes me sad: “Oh, they were just drunk,” or “They just kinda have a thing.” Sex is now such a casual term and image in our daily lives that I fear how the life-altering, soul-defining activity will be viewed by our generation and even our children’s generation down the road. I feel like the concept of morality in high schoolers is deteriorating.

I’m not saying that I’m waiting until I’m married to have sex, but I am a junior and still a virgin. Honestly, I can’t say if I’m proud of myself for remaining abstinent or embarrassed that the majority of my class has lost their virginity and I haven’t. Sex should not be something that gives you “pleasure” on a Saturday night when you’re drunk off vodka that’s hidden in a water bottle; it should be done to show someone how much you love them.

Love is the base of sex. Love should be the main reason you are having sex. In 2013, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention produced a poll that said 47 percent of teens were having sex. Two questions came to mind when I read that. One, how many teenagers were actually telling the truth? And two, how many of those teenagers were actually in a loving, committed relationship at that time? I’m not saying that I have been in love or am in love, but I can say that I may be falling in love – even though I don’t know exactly what “falling in love” feels like. I hope that if our relationship comes to the point where we want to show our love in a more affectionate way than we have been, I’ll know that it won’t be because he wants to run off and brag to his friends. It will be because he loves me and feels comfortable enough to do “it” with me.

The first time, in my eyes, should be special. I may not be the most religious person, but I do know that the Bible says to wait until marriage. Even though I don’t go to church every Sunday and don’t plan on waiting until marriage, that doesn’t mean that I plan on going around having sex with anything that breathes.

I don’t want my first time to be drunk in the back of a car or at some crazy party in the guest room. I want it to be just the two of us taking in what is about to happen and realizing what it means and how we have to look at it in a mature manner. Maybe I’m just easily swayed, but my whole life my parents have told me to wait. They never clearly said “wait until you’re married,” but they did always include “until you find someone you love.” I have listened to that my whole life, and I firmly believe it is the best way to go.

It should really mean something between the two of you. Being in high school, this will be the most intimate moment of our lives so far. Sex is the most vulnerable thing you can do with another person. Sharing that vulnerability with someone you love should be exhilarating yet nerve-racking. Your heart should be racing only because you can not wait to show your love for that person. Teenagers should be having sex for the “right” reasons, as weird as that may sound. Show your love to your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife when the time comes in a way that means a lot to both of you.