I watch, as fear instantly strikes my friend’s face. It was a regular Friday night, five of my friends and I were playing board games at a cafe, laughing and having a great time. We were all talking, and one of my friend’s phone flashes amongst the chatter. She received a notification from her mother that she was ready to pick her up. The mood instantly shifted from lighthearted, to serious. I was looking at her confused until it hit me. She lied to her mother about who she was hanging out with. She scrambles, telling some of our friends to go hide while her mother is here to pick her up. It was clear that she was stressed, and that moment made me realize, that strict parents raise sneaky kids.
This experience I had with my friend is sneakiness on a smaller scale, but the stories I have heard around school are much worse. Drinking, smoking and vaping are all things parents typically do not support, but for overly strict parents, it is their nightmare.
As teenagers, all we want is to enjoy our high school years. We want to go out with our friends, go to school dances, we want to make memories that will last a lifetime. Being deprived of these memories, makes teenagers feel as though they are not getting the high school experience they have dreamed of. They will begin to feel left out and completely isolated from their peers, and that is a feeling that none of us enjoy. This causes teenagers to lie and sneak out just so they can feel an ounce of social acceptance.
It’s natural for teens to want to be in relationships and go to parties, but those with strict parents almost feel as though they need these things. At the beginning to teenagers, this can seem harmless, but in reality, it can kickstart what parents consider “the rebellious teenager phase.” When things are considered taboo, it can often make that thing more desirable because it is a threat to their behavioral freedom. To teens with strict parents, risky behaviors are like a pot of gold. Partaking in these risky behaviors can lead to a large amount of psychological issues in the future.
The lack of trust teens have in their strict parents can ruin the bond they have with each other permanently. They become secretive and deceive their parents, and as they continue to do this, it becomes a habit that is difficult to break. With time, lying becomes almost second nature to them. This in turn ruins their future relationships with others, as they may never fully trust the other person. Maintaining healthy relationships becomes incredibly difficult, due to the rocky relationship they have with their parents.
Being a teenager is by no means simple. We are still figuring things out, and having unsupportive parents makes everything much more difficult. Parents, I know you just want what is best for your children, and you want to shield them from the dangers and dark truths of the world, but denying them experiences that every teenager should go through will only leave them unaware and unsure of how to live life. By no means am I saying that you should let your child go rogue, restrictions are necessary, and it’s what every parent should do, but please let your teenager enjoy their youth.
As teenagers all we want is to be understood, so with that, talk to your kids. Set boundaries and listen to what they have to say. Do not expect unquestioned obedience, you may have authority, but you want to be your teen’s parent, not their dictator.
